Harry The Scary Squirrel From Hell

Harry The Scary Squirrel From Hell book cover
footnote warning
Harry, the Scary Squirrel from Hell, lived in a place we all know quite well
He lived in a hell-hole, a one-bedroom flat, rented from Slummy the Scrofulous Rat
He had two little horns o top of his head, and carried a pitchfork which filled folk with dread
While his kinfol all labored to gather up nuts, Harry smoked cigs and poked poeple's butts
Harry liked nutty sweets and spreads best, but his mother's one recipe was filed under "nuts, chest-"
So when he foraged he horrified other squirrels, by invariably robbing helpless young girls
He'd spring from a tree and go for an ankle, and pin them, tell they gave their food and cried "Uncle!"
One day a troop of Girl Scouts went by . . .
Afterwards, he gave a satisfied sigh
Harry led a life of crime till that fateful night, when an opera singer passed by munching "Nut Brownie Delight"
His fierce warcry made her high C fall flat
But her surprising basso profundo left him a big furry splat
So Harry's tale end's on a crummy note, as the opera singer walks off brushing crumbs from her coat
And the edifying moral, as everyone sees, is "Make sure your kids know how to make their own nut brownies!"
The End
You have passed the end. Go back. Go back now. There is no more. Nothing. He's dead. There was nothing you could have done. Going on is futile. We really suggest you turn around now. Really really. Go No Further. DON'T DO IT!
OOOoooooOOOooOoOOoOOooooo!
endpage

time well spent

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time to explore

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time flies

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